No Runny Eggs

Revisions/extensions (10:47 pm 8/22/2008) – For the record, I had the answer to the first letter ready to go about 4:30 pm this afternoon, but before I could finalize the answer to letter #2, I had a Brewer game to go to. With the news from ABC that Joe Biden is now receiving Secret Service protection (H/T – Chris Cillizza), it looks like my Jedi Mind Trick worked.

My head’s almost cleared up from a nice late-summer allergy episode, so let’s go back to the mailbag for some timely advice.

Letter #1 –

Dear Egg,

I’m starting to slide in the polls, and I need a pre-coronation boost for my VP pick. I know you hate me, but I have nowhere else to turn. Come on, do me this one favor, please.

-Hyde Park Bus Driver

Bus Driver,

Since I’m being charitable, I’ll give you the one piece of advice that may save you; don’t take your last challenger. Beyond that, don’t overlook the follically-challenged.

Beware the PUMAs!
-Egg

Letter #2 –

My friend, I know we haven’t seen eye to eye over the last dozen years, but I hope we can put that aside. I’m taking one step forward by waiting to see what that guy across the aisle is doing before making my final decision, but it’s in my nature to take one step back. How far back can I go?

-Arizona Mav Man

Dear Mav Man,

It is good that you’re going to be using the clock to your advantage. Don’t waste it by going anywhere near backwards by taking a pro-abortion candidate like Ridge or Giuliani.

Do have a backup plan to a backup plan just in case the PUMAs overthrow the Obamination Express.
-Egg