No Runny Eggs

(Cross posted at TheWisconsinSportsBar)

The NCAA tournament starts tonight, with Hampton (16-15, won the Mid-Eastern tourney) and Monmouth (18-14, won the Northeast tourney) playing for the right to get destroyed by nominal #1 overall seed Villanova (24-4, 2nd in the Big East) in the Midwes…er, Minneapolis regional. Take Monmouth to win their first NCAA tourney game. Morever, the Marquette CareBears got their wish; the only way they’ll run into the Milwaukee Panthers is if they both make it to the championship game, which isn’t happening.

As for the rest of the tourney for you moderate degenerates, remember – gambling is illegal except in Nevada and off-shore havens, so if you get busted for using these nose picks in your pool, don’t come crying to me.

First round, Midwest: Villanova (1) over Monmouth, Wisconsin (9) over Arizona (in the battle of fading programs, the Mildcats have fallen further than Bucky), Montana (12) over Nevada (your historic 12-5 upset split, plus a Milwaukee connection with Montana coach Larry Krystowiak, a former Buck), Boston College (4) over Pacific, UW-Milwaukee (11) over Oklahoma (too much offense from Rob Jeter’s group), Florida (3) over South Alabama, Northern Iowa (10) over Georgetown (no, there’s no anti-Thompson bias here :-) and Ohio State (2) over Davidson

First round East, er, DC: UConn (1) over Albany, UA-Birmingham (9) over an over-seeded Kentucky, Washington (5) over Utah State, Illinois (4) over Air Force, George Mason (11) over Michigan State, North Carolina (3) over Murray State, Wichita State (7) over Seton Hall, Tennessee (2) over Winthrop

First round South, er, Atlanta: Duke (1) over Southern, UNC-Wilmington (9) over George Washington, Texas A&M (12) over Syracuse (this 12-5 upset’s for you, Owen), Iona (13) over Louisiana State, Southern Illinois (11) over West Virginia, Iowa (3) over Northwestern State California (7) over North Carolina State, Texas (2) over Pennsylvania

First round West, er, Oakland: Memphis (1) over Oral Roberts, Arkansas (8) over no-longer-a-surprise Bucknell, Pittsburgh (5) over Kent State, Kansas (4) over Bradley, San Diego State (11) over Indiana, Gonzaga (3) over Xavier, Alabama (10) over Marquette (sorry CareBears, Novak and a bunch of freshmen can’t get it done), UCLA (2) over Belmont in the battle of the Bruins

Second round Midwest: ‘Nova over Bucky (if one Wildcat doesn’t beat you, the other one will), BC over Montana, UWM over Florida (that’s right, the Panthers are Sweet-16 dancing again), Ohio State over Northern Iowa

Second round East: UConn over UAB, Illinois over Washington, UNC over George Mason, Tennessee over Wichita State

Second round South: Duke over UNC-Wilminton, Texas A&M over Iona, SIU over Iowa, California over Texas

Second round West: Arkansas over Memphis, Pittsburgh over Kansas, Gonzaga over San Diego State, UCLA over Alabama

Midwest Semis: ‘Nova over BC, Ohio State over UWM (too much inside from the Buckeyes)

East Semis: Illinios over UConn, Tennessee over UNC

South Semis: Duke over A&M, SIU over California

West Semis: Pittsburgh over Arkansas, UCLA over Gonzaga

Final Four: ‘Nova, Tennessee, Duke, Pittsburgh

Champion: Duke over Tennessee, Bruce Pearl still gets hoisted off the court on his players’ shoulders