(H/T – Allahpundit)
No Runny Eggs has obtained the first draft of the award resolution:
Whereas Barack Hussein Obama II took the office of United States President on January 20, 2009 on the promise of Hope and Change, and…
Whereas Barack Hussein Obama II promised surrender to the Islamokazis, and…
Whereas Barack Hussein Obama II gave new hope to Communists worldwide, and…
Whereas Barack Hussein Obama II has encouraged Iran to pursue nuclear weapons with which it will wipe out the biggest threat to the Religion of Pieces, Israel, and…
Whereas Barack Hussein Obama II has ended American Exceptionalism,…
Therefore, we the idiots of the Nobel Piece Committee award Barack Hussein Obama II the Nobel Piece Prize.
I wish I were kidding about either the award or the reasoning, but the only thing that is semi-tongue-in-cheek is that first-draft resolution.
Revisions/extensions (7:19 am 10/9/2009) - Hot Air commenter reaganaut answers the inevitable baseball question – “Well, now we know Obama will win the AL Cy Young for throwing out that pitch.” What other undeserving awards will Obama get?
R&E part 3 (9:07 am 10/9/2009) - Read about just some of the nominees that lost out to President Present. What didn’t they do that Teh Won did? They didn’t support Communism and Radical Islam. In fact, several of those who didn’t make the final cut oppose Communists and Islamokazis.
R&E part 4 (9:26 am 10/9/2009) - Dr. Dave lists the new qualifications for the Nobel Piec…er, Peace Prize.
R&E part 5 (10:50 am 10/9/2009) - Steve Padilla over at the Los Angeles Times’ Top of the Ticket blog came through with the full text of the Nobel announcement:
The Norwegian Nobel Committee has decided that the Nobel Peace Prize for 2009 is to be awarded to President Barack Obama for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples. The Committee has attached special importance to Obama’s vision of and work for a world without nuclear weapons.
Obama has as President created a new climate in international politics. Multilateral diplomacy has regained a central position, with emphasis on the role that the United Nations and other international institutions can play. Dialogue and negotiations are preferred as instruments for resolving even the most difficult international conflicts. The vision of a world free from nuclear arms has powerfully stimulated disarmament and arms control negotiations. Thanks to Obama’s initiative, the USA is now playing a more constructive role in meeting the great climatic challenges the world is confronting. Democracy and human rights are to be strengthened.
Only very rarely has a person to the same extent as Obama captured the world’s attention and given its people hope for a better future. His diplomacy is founded in the concept that those who are to lead the world must do so on the basis of values and attitudes that are shared by the majority of the world’s population.
For 108 years, the Norwegian Nobel Committee has sought to stimulate precisely that international policy and those attitudes for which Obama is now the world’s leading spokesman. The Committee endorses Obama’s appeal that “Now is the time for all of us to take our share of responsibility for a global response to global challenges.”
Oslo, October 9, 2009
Damn if that isn’t close to my exclusive first-draft resolution.
R&E part 6 (12:46 pm 10/9/2009) - A couple more for the linkage:
– Phineas put up a few more of Obama’s “accomplishments”, as well as the “qualifications” of a few recent Piec…er, Peace Prize winners.
– Slublog broke out the Slushop. I’ll give you just one of them; you’re going to have to go to Ace’s place for the rest.
R&E part 7 (12:57 pm 10/9/2009) - I bow to the master of Teh Funny, Iowahawk, who got a copy of Obama’s invitation to the Nobel Peace Player’s Club.
R&E part 8 (7:20 pm 10/9/2009) - I called this one even before I posted it here (see my first comment at the Hot Air thread) – The Wall Street Journal agrees with my assessment that it was an award for the end of American exceptionalism:
The Norwegians are on to something. In a mere nine months, the President has promulgated a vision for the U.S. role in the world that breaks with both Republican and Democratic predecessors. Madeleine Albright, Bill Clinton’s Secretary of State, called America the “indispensable nation” a decade ago. Ronald Reagan called it a “city on the Hill,” an example to the world.
Mr. Obama sees the U.S. differently, as weaker than it was and the rest of the planet as stronger, and so he calls for a humbler America, at best a first among equals, working primarily through the U.N. The world’s challenges, he emphasized yesterday, “can’t be met by any one leader or any one nation.” What this suggests to us—and to the Norwegians—is the end of what has been called “American exceptionalism.” This is the view that U.S. values have universal application and should be promoted without apology, and defended with military force when necessary.