(H/T – Jon Sanders)
Where, oh where do I go with this story about a dead goldfish named Princess registered to vote through a third-party voter-drive effort from Lake County, Illinois? I could go with the whole FISH angle, but that isn’t exactly family-friendly (FISH is one of the vulgar acronyms we on the good side of the toll booths apply to those on the far side of them).
I could go with the fact that the owner of the dead goldfish, Beth Nudelman, is a registered Democrat, but according to The News Organization That Cannot Be Quoted™, she’s the one that blew the whistle. Wait a minute – I will start there. From the article…
She said she wrote election officials a humorous note explaining why the fish was ineligible to vote.
I’ll bet the letter read something like this: “I really would like to register Princess to vote, but she’s worm food, and this isn’t Chicago where the dead are 110% ‘Rat voters.”
I could, and will, also point out that the tactics of the third-party group, Women’s Voices, Women Vote, are quite similar to sometimes-partner ACORN’s tactics. Indeed, Steve Strum, legal counsel for the Illinois State Board of Elections, notes that this particular effort, which used a mailing list purchased from a vendor, has generated numerous complaints. Also, this particular episode has attracted the attention of the Lake County sheriff’s and state’s attorney’s offices.
Now, how did Princess the dead fish end up on that list? The Nudelmans used her name on a second phone line for a computer modem. That in itself raises a question; why did they feel the need to do that? Ameritech and its follow-on companies SBC and AT&T, didn’t prohibit one from having 2 lines.
The more-observant may ask, “Why are they targeting Illinois when no Republican will likely ever win a statewide election again?” Lake County is, or at least was very-recently, a Republican area marked for takeover. Indeed, there was once a barn on the north end of the Tri-State that was essentially a GOP billboard.
You said “The Nudelmans used her name on a second phone line for a computer modem. That in itself raises a question; why did they feel the need to do that?”
Answer: I could think of a dozen possible reasons, but the three that were actually true were:
1) We wanted to see what junk mail would be generated. We did get a nice stack, including credit card offers, life insurance (should have taken that one), and the partially filled out voter’s registration card.
2) We didn’t want people looking us up in the phone book to call us on that line since it wouldn’t ring anyways. We figured anyone using that number to call us wasn’t someone to whom we would want to talk.
3) We didn’t want to pay extra for an unlisted number.
Fair enough?
Oh, and just to correct something in your first paragraph – the fish was never registered to vote. The card was mailed uncompleted, unsigned, and with a note saying don’t register this as a voter. The system worked.
Got to say, though, our family has certainly enjoyed the 15 minutes this episode has generated. Don’t see how we can get a book deal out of it, but it’s been fun.
Out of those 3 arguments, I can only buy the third, and then only if the main line was also unlisted. Still, I did not feel the need to falsify the info for a second computer line I once had, and I did pay the extra to keep it unlisted.
I admire your family’s honesty by blowing the whistle. I am curious; why would the story have called that letter to the election officials “humorous”?