No Runny Eggs

Revised and extended 6:58 am 12/26 after the Jets put the dagger into the Deadfins.

Well, we’re almost done with Week 16 and the Packers are still alive in the playoff hunt. Here is every scenario that would get the Packers into the playoffs:

– If the Packers beat Duh Bears on Sunday (it probably will be the NBC Sunday Night game), one of the following must happen:

• St. Louis loses to or ties Minnesota and New York loses to or ties Washington
• New York loses to or ties Washington and either Atlanta beats Philadelphia or Carolina beats New Orleans (or both)
• Detroit beats Dallas, Minnesota beats St. Louis, and all but one of the following must happen (there can be 1 tie if one of the teams that must win loses or up to 3 ties if the rest of them win): Miami beats both the Jets and Indianapolis, Arizona beats San Diego, San Francisco beats Denver, Seattle beats Tampa Bay, Cleveland beats Houston, and New Orleans beats Carolina
• Detroit beats Dallas, Minnesota ties St. Louis, and all of the following must happen (there can be 1 tie): Miami beats both the Jets and Indianapolis, Arizona beats San Diego, San Francisco beats Denver, Seattle beats Tampa Bay, Cleveland beats Houston, and New Orleans beats Carolina
• Detroit ties Dallas, Minnesota beats St. Louis, Miami beats both the Jets and Indianapolis, Arizona beats San Diego, San Francisco beats Denver, Seattle beats Tampa Bay, Cleveland beats Houston, and New Orleans beats Carolina

– If the Packers tie Duh Bears, the Giants must lose to Washington and one of the following must happen:

• Minnesota beats St. Louis, Carolina loses to or ties New Orleans, and Atlanta loses to or ties Philadelphia
• Minnesota ties St Louis, Carolina ties New Orleans and Atlanta loses to or ties Philadelphia
• Minnesota ties St Louis, Atlanta ties Philadelphia, and Carolina loses to or ties New Orleans

If the Packers lose to Duh Bears, fuggettaboudit. They’re as dead as the Spiraling Colby.