I won’t be recapping the 4-9-1 debacle (putting me at 21-24-1). Let’s, however, push ahead to Week 4 so we can get back above .500:
Indianapolis (-9) @ NY Jets – It’s an even week, so the J-E-T-S will S*CK! SU*K! SUC*! The Colts should be able to get close to the over/under all by themselves, so take the over-47.5 too.
San Diego (-1.5) @ Baltimore – I told you I would have my revenge on the OldBrowns, and the cold dish will be served today.
Minnesota (+1) @ Buffalo – You may like/want/get the point, but you won’t need it. You will, however, want to take it and at least 35 more to net you the over-35 as well.
Dallas (-10) @ Tennessee – The TItans’ D will be no more effective than the not-quite-lethal cocktail that TO took.
San Francisco @ Kansas City (-7) – Take steak over rice.
New Orleans (+7) @ Carolina – Can someone tell me just how the Panthers are a touchdown favorite? Make your killings here.
Arizona @ Atlanta (-7.5) – It’s Christmas in October for gamblers.
Miami (-4) @ Houston – Ron Freaking Dayne is starting for Duh Texans. That says it all.
Detroit @ St Louis (-6) – Wrong dome for the Lions.
New England @ Cincinnati (-6) – This isn’t the week that they go back to being the BenGALS.
Jacksonville @ Washington (+3) – Call me a sucker, call me contrarian, but at 6:30, please call me a winner.
Cleveland (-3) @ Oakland – The bye covered against Duh Raiders last week.
Seattle @ Chicago (-3.5) – The only question is will the Bears’ defense outscore the offense.
Green Bay @ Philadelphia (-11) – It could be -22 and I would still take the Eaglets.
