The Cup penalties for the Daytona 500 came out in an “ironically-“titled story called NASCAR lays down the law on NA$$¢AR’s front page –
- For illegally modifying the rear window during qualifying, #48 crew chief Chad Knaus continues to be suspended through the spring Atlanta race for a total of 4 races (less Daytona qualifying), is placed on probation through the end of the year, and loses $25,000. Neither driver Jimmie Johnson nor “owner” Jeff Gordon (who’s listed as the owner to get around an archaic rule preventing any individual from owning more than 2 teams) lose any points.
- For having an illegally-modified carbuerator during qualifying, #96 crew chief Phillipe Lopez is fined $25,000, part-time driver Terry Labonte loses 25 drivers’ points, and owner William Saunder loses 25 owners’ points.
- For intentionally punting Matt Kenseth at 190 mph, then admitting that the punt was intentional, Tony Stewart gets…wait for it…wait for it…ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY NO FUCKING PENALTY
I’ll take the differential between the #48 and #96 penalties first. Both cars failed post-qualifying inspection. Morever, Chad Knaus has a long and recent history of cheating. Here’s what NA$$¢AR head Brainless France was thinking; “We can’t piss off my buddy Rick Hendrick and the title sponsor of one of the tracks we go to not once, not twice, but three times by knocking poor little JJ out of the points lead; but we sure as hell can dump on an upstart team that backed away from a Hendrick partnership, especially if we can help big-bucks Valvoline climb back into the top 35 by the time we leave Bristol.”
Next, the non-penalty for the defending chump, Stewey. He ought to be hitting his knees tonight very thankful for 2 things; he’s NA$$¢AR’s designated Golden Heel, and he drives a car that’s sponsored by the Official Home Improvement Store of NA$$¢AR, The Home Depot. No parking, no fine, no points, not even a damn probation after admitting that he intentionally wrecked Matt Kenseth? As I said Sunday, bull-fucking-shit.
I’m somewhat surprised they didn’t further penalize Kenseth. After all, his Q ratings aren’t exactly in the Jr/Stewey/Flash range, he’s on the team that’s marked for death by Brainless France (Roush Racing), and his sponsor (DeWalt) isn’t either an official NA$$¢AR sponsor or a track sponsor. On the other hand, doing so would make it just a bit too obvious that NA$$¢AR is as rigged as the WWE and the NBA in the NBC days (side note; the motto at NBC “Sports” – If we can’t fix it, we don’t want it).
I guess the NA$$¢AR “law” is – Get yourself a driver with high Q and a sponsor that either also is an official sponsor of NA$$¢CAR or is the title sponsor of a track, and you are in like Flynn. Fail to do so, and if we catch even a whiff that you’re not doing things 150% by our ever-changing, written-in-pencil rulebook, woe be unto you on Tuesday.
See you at the local tracks.
