No Runny Eggs

Running into a guy from church looking for relief from a head cold at a local Walgreen’s while shopping for batteries (not a 24-hour one with a 24-hour pharmacy department, though I live virtually next to one of those) got me to thinking of the utter stupidity of requiring a pharmacist to get you cold medicine. What if you got a cold late Christmas Eve and didn’t have easy access to one of those 24-hour-pharmacy Walgreen’s? You would have been suffering for close to 2 days just so that various politicians from the bipartisan Party of Gubmint can feel good about themselves.

“Thank” you, Party of Gubmint (feel free to substitute another word for “thank”).

For those of you dreaming about the #1 overall pick for the Pack and Reggie Bush in the Green and Gold (assuming that “Genius” Thompson doesn’t frag it up and take Tony Mandarich Jr.), here is what must happen for the Packers (3-12) to get the #1 pick outright from fellow contenders Houston Texans (2-13), New Orleans Saints (3-12) and New York Jets (3-11; playing tonight) (I don’t know how tiebreakers beyond the initial Strength of Schedule apply to teams from different conferences), assuming that the Jets lose to the Patriots tonight (the Jets are 7-point home dogs) –

• The Pack must lose to the Seahawks at home.
• The Texans must beat the oh-so-close-to-2-in-a-row Niners in San Francisco (the Niners’ SoS is too strong).
• The Saints must not lose in Tampa (the Saints will finish with a worse SoS than the Pack).
• All of the following must happen (one tie can happen; two ties or one thing completely opposite will trigger further tiebreakers with the Texans):
  • The Jets choke to Buffalo at home.
  • Arizona does the expected and lose in Indianapolis
  • St. Louis ends Dallas’ playoff dreams (sorry James; we need this).
  • Detroit lays an egg in Pittsburgh.
• Assuming that the Jets lose both of their remaining games, 3 of these 4 things must happen (a tie counts as a half-not-happening, and we can have 3 of those):
  • The OldBrowns go back to Cleveland and win.
  • The Bengals get cooked by the C(h)iefs.
  • The Titans fall before Jacksonville.
  • The Giants take the night off in Oakland.

In short, root for the Seahags, Whiners, Aints, J-E-T-S SUCK! SUCK! SUCK! tonight but not next weekend, Bills, Colts, Lambs, Steelers, OldBrowns, Chefs, Jags and Raiders, and then demand a real GM before the draft. Simple as mud.