Following his most recent campaign tour through the Midwest, the Divider and Agitator in Chief is going on vacation. Oh, but don’t call this a real vacation as the Divider and Agitator in Chief will be working hard while hanging out on Martha’s Vineyard.
If you hadn’t noticed, the economy isn’t doing so well these days. It’s apparent that the Divider and Agitator in Chief has noticed the poor economy. Just before going
on vacation to the Vineyard, he announced that he will make a serious policy speech addressing his ideas on what should be done to get job creation going right after his vacation he spends some time contemplating what should be done.
I’m glad the Divider and Agitator in Chief will be addressing the jobs issue. However, I’m getting really concerned about all that gray hair he opportunistically sports. Michelle says he has earned everyone of those gray hairs, I can only imagine it’s because he worries so much and works so hard for us. As a heart attack and bypass survivor, I want to do my part to keep our Divider and Agitator in Chief’s stress in a safe range. To that end, I offer the President the following advice for his “jobs creation speech” so that he can rest, relax and play golf while he’s
on vacation at Martha’s Vineyard.
Are you ready? My idea is so simple I’m surprised The Divider and Agitator in Chief hasn’t come up with it before. Here’s what the Divider and Agitator in Chief should propose doing in his big speech:
The problem this Divider and Agitator in Chief has is that like a two year old in a fine crystal store, everything he touches he breaks! Doing or touching anything at this point, will only result in higher unemployment because that is what every effort of his has resulted in. In fact, now that I think about it, if the Divider and Agitator in Chief really wanted to create jobs, the best thing he could do is UN DO damn near everything he has done since being in office!
OK, this is a hard concept for the Divider and Agitator in Chief. In fact, it’s probably a hard concept for damn near every government employee and elected official. They all think their jobs are “to do things.” No, dammit, get your fingers off and quit coming up with a new set of uncertainty to insert in the economy! See, I told you it was simple.
Still don’t understand? Let me give some specifics to the Divider and Agitator in Chief:
- UN DO the restrictions and blocking on new fossil fuel exploration – how many jobs have we lost or sent away in the Gulf of Mexico? How many jobs could we have in ANWR or Colorado? How many additional mining jobs could we have if we quit running scared of our own shadow over coal? Turning loose our energy industry would not only increase jobs, it would decrease energy costs. Wow, a twofer on the first suggestion!
- UN DO the EPAs undercover efforts to implement cap and trade by regulating carbon dioxide off the planet! Take a look at what’s happening in the utility industry. Major electrical generating companies are looking at shuttering plants because they’re too expensive to upgrade for the new regulations. Do you think any of these companies are hiring people for these plants? Only enough to eek by. If a plant is slated for closing, companies will get by on skeleton crews so that they don’t incur extra costs when it comes time to close the plant. Oh, and if you don’t think businesses across the country are concerned about the threat of increasing electrical costs and potential brown outs, you’re fooling yourself! All you need to do is look at Texas where they are already planning for brown outs as a result of the new regulations!
- UN DO the NLRB’s rabid intensity against all jobs that are none union. How many jobs would begin in South Carolina alone or not uncreated or shipped overseas, if the NLRB quit trying to enforce all union all the time policies?
Oh, I could go on and on listing things that the Divider and and Agitator in Chief could UN DO but let me leave you just one last one:
Placebocare! UN DO it! I talk to a lot of senior business executives as a part of my work. The number one thing discussed as we look into the next year or two and the number one thing that has them tentative about the future is understanding the impact of Placebocare on their businesses. UN DOing this legislation alone would remove a huge overhang on the US business environment.
OK, there’s my idea. I hope this helps the Divider and Agitator in Chief have a more restful
vacation time for planning his campaign his next year. It probably will be a part of his speech because look at the cool T-shirt I just received as a thank you: