Once again, I proved that picking NFL games straight-up is easier than taking candy from a baby, but picking against the spread is the hardest thing in the universe. Let’s review the carnage:
Tennessee 10 @ Pittsburgh 13 (-6.5-LOSS) – The Hines Ward fumble as Pittsburgh was headed in for a touchdown was the appropriate start to the season. Oh, did I mention I hate overtime?
Chicago 15 @ Green Bay 21 (-3.5) – Both offensive lines were, in a word, offensive. Fortunately, the Bears’ o-line problems extended to their punt unit. Oh yeah; the under hit too.
Minnesota 34 (-4.5) @ Cleveland 20 – Or at least it was an easy picking.
Detroit 27 @ New Orleans 45 (-13.5) – TIIIIMBEEEEEEERRRRR!!!!!
Miami 7 @ Atlanta 19 (-4) – What did I say about the Wildcat on Thursday?
Kansas City 24 (+13) @ Baltimore 38 – I saw the scores. Now I’m a believer!
Philadelphia 38 @ Carolina 10 (+2.5) – …and boy did that object move.
Denver 12 @ Cincinnati 7 (-4) – It figures that the Game of the Weak would feature the Play of the Week.
New York Jets 24 (+5) @ Houston 7 – The Barking Dog is back, and he is HUNGRY!
Jacksonville 12 (+7-WIN) @ Indianapolis 14 – Mirror, mirror on the wall, what’s the closest rivalry of all?
Dallas 34 (-6) @ Tampa Bay 21 – I may not know my spreads, but I know my overs.
San Francisco 20 @ Arizona 16 (-6) – …but passing to Gore plus the Super Loser Curse equals disaster.
Washington 17 @ New York Giants 23 (-6.5-LOSS) – It’s a good thing the Giants don’t play in New York City; Eli fired the shotgun 18 timees.
St. Louis 0 (+8.5) @ Seattle 28 – I’m sure there’s a couple of high school teams can beat the Lambs.
Buffalo 24 @ New England 25 (-11-LOSS) – That was a collapse of historic proportions from the first and only team to lose 4 Championship Games That Cannot Be Named™ in a row.
San Diego 24 (-9-LOSS) @ Oakland 20 – And then there was one running back worth taking in the first round of a fantasy draft.
That leaves me 7-9 ATS, 13-3 straight-up, and 2-0 on the over/under bonus plays. All in all, not a bad Weak One considering my historical suckitude on this.
