I saw this story last week about a developer who wants to build an amusement park in Baghdad. The understatement of the article was the opening paragraph:
Llewellyn Werner admits he is facing obstacles most amusement park developers never have to deal with – insurgent attacks and looting.
Ya think?
Disney’s parks typically make some adjustments so that the attractions reflect some of the local culture and aren’t 100% American. So I got to thinking….what kind of adjustments would be made to “Disneyland – Baghdad?”
- Mahdis of Sadr City– In the Baghdad version of Pirates of the Caribbean we would see the Mahdi Army ransacking and running roughshod throughout scenes of Sadr City. Rather than Johnny Depp making cameo appearances, we would see Muqtada al-Sadr peaking out from barrels and from behind burqas to see if it was safe for him to come out of hiding.
- The Closet of Presidents – well, they’ve only had one that’s actually been elected. It seems like it will be quite awhile before they will need an entire hall!
- Small World – rather than scenes of happy children representing harmony of the countries of the world, this attraction will be dedicated to the countries and factions that the insurgents in Iraq represent. Rather than hearing the refrain of “It’s a small world after all,” over and over, we would hear a refrain of “Death to all the infidels,” in those same, nauseating children’s voices.
- Buzz Lightyear – As you ride through this attraction you’ll help Buzz save Iraq by eliminating Iranian agents. The ride will be kid friendly because as we’re assured regularly by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Iranian agents in Iraq are as make believe as the evil agents of Zurg!
These are the attraction descriptions that have slipped out from the tightly guarded planning process. If you hear of more, make sure to give us a heads up in the comments!
