I guess hiding in the belly of the gubmint beast kept me alive another week (it also had a very nice side benefit; meeting the way-out-of-my-league Mary Katharine Ham), but it kept me from figuring out just how many torpedo/shell/bomb holes the USS Egg has in it. No time for that now as we steam into the mine field known as Week 5, once again using the slightly-whacked Bodog.com lines via Vegas Insider:
Chicago @ Green Bay (-3.5) – Brian Urlacher nailed it – “We stink right now.”
Detroit (+3.5) @ Washington – Counter-contra stat of the day – Detroit is 0-17 in DC.
Carolina (+3.5) @ New Orleans – Deja vu all over again; the 1996 Aints started off 0-4.
Jacksonville (-2) @ Kansas City – Make sure that cup is on; this one’s going to hurt just watching it.
Atlanta (+8.5) @ Tennessee – Too much lumber, though the Tennesseeans aren’t missing the arcade one bit.
Miami @ Houston (-6) – 5, 6, it doesn’t matter. I wouldn’t take the Deadfins until the line moves into AC voltage territory.
Seattle (+6.5) @ Pittsburgh – The FAA has issued a severe turbulence advisory over Heinz Field for all the collisions that will take place. Take the under-41.
Cleveland @ New England (-17) – We all know what happened the third time Neo met Smith.
Arizona (-4) @ St. Louis – Two quarterbacks are better than none.
New York Jets “@” New York Giants (-4) – I also talked to Jimmy Hoffa this week, and he said take the G-men.
Tampa Bay @ Indianapolis (-10) – There’s no Cadillac, so jump on this gift from the bookies. To thank them by taking even more of their money, take the over-45.5.
San Diego @ Denver (+1) – This game’s in Denver, right? Shanahan has a piss-pot full of running backs, right? So why are the voltless Bolts favored?
Baltimore (-3.5) @ San Francisco – Nothing like fresh meat in at QB to cure defensive woes.
Dallas (-11) @ Buffalo – It’s not supposed to snow in Buffalo, and Leon Lett’s been retired for umpteen years.
