No Runny Eggs

Let’s hope the byes improve the situation of 22-23-2 ATS and 3-3 O/U.

Green Bay (+1) @ Tampa Bay – Stat of the week; Brian Griese is 3-0 against the Pack.
Minnesota @ Tennessee (-3) – Did I mention I love defenses lately?
Philadelphia (-3) @ Chicago – The Bears are DONE!
Denver @ Kansas City (+10) – Given the lack of defense the Broncos have, it’s too many points.
Cleveland @ Cincinnati (-3.5) – The Game of the Weak.
Houston @ Jacksonville (-7) – The nightmare continues.
Arizona @ NY Jets (-1) – Favre is still indestructible.
San Francisco @ New Orleans (-4.5) – Take Dirty Rice over Rice-A-Roni and take the over-48.
Atlanta (+7) @ Carolina – Once again, too many points to give considering the road team has won the last 5.
Buffalo (-8) @ St. Louis – I didn’t know Trent Green was still in the league.
San Diego (-8) @ Oakland – It’s the same old story, same old song and dance.
Washington @ Dallas (-10.5) – The Injury Discount has been applied.
Baltimore (+6) @ Pittsburgh – I’d be surprised if there were more than 6 points scored. Take the under-34.

It was a painful week. Let’s review.

Dallas 27 (-3) @ Green Bay 16 – Everybody else was leaving the game with injuries.
Tampa Bay 27 (+3) @ Chicago 24 – Grease beats alcohol.
Carolina 10 (+3.5) @ Minnesota 20 – Defense still wins games.
Detroit 13 @ San Francisco 31 (-5) – Let’s review the smashing – San Fran beating the Lion Cubs by over 15 – check. Under 47 total points – check. Bad news – Matt Millen is no more.
Kansas City 14 @ Atlanta 38 (-6.5) – 186 yards rushing; yep, the irresistable force ran over the movable object.
Oakland 23 @ Buffalo 24 (-10-LOSS) – OH SO CLOSE!
Houston 12 @ Tennessee 31 (-5.5) – What rude hosts. I sure hope you took advantage
Cincinnati 23 @ NY Giants 26 (-13-LOSS) – At least the over/unders are back to last year’s form.
Arizona 17 (+3) @ Washington 24 – Some days you’re the dog, some days your the milk bone.
Miami 38 @ New England 13 (-13) – While that may not be the real Dolphins, I believe that’s the real Pats sans Brady.
St. Louis 13 (+10) @ Seattle 37 – Real nice for the Seahawks to show up just as I gave up on them </sarcasm>.
New Orleans 32 @ Denver 34 (-6-LOSS) – Inept playcalling from the Saints was, however, required.
Pittsburgh 6 (+3.5) @ Philadelphia 15 – Unfortunately, I took the wrong D.
Jacksonville 23 (+4.5) @ Indianapolis 21 – Tony Dungy is wondering whether the RCA Dome is still open.
Cleveland 10 @ Baltimore 28 (-3) – NewBrowns fans are chanting, “We Want Quinn!”
NY Jets 29 (+8.5) @ San Diego 48 – I should’ve gave the points.

7-9 ATS and 2-0 O/U puts me at a suckitude 22-23-2 ATS and 3-3 O/U. No wonder why I didn’t post much this past week.

I just caught this on JSOnline’s DayWatch from Don Walker…

Milwaukee Brewers pitcher Eric Gagne bought 5,000 tickets to tonight’s game against the Pittsburgh Pirates and plans to give them away.

“Tonight we’ll be playing one of the most important games in franchise history, and I can think of no better way to thank the fans than giving families an opportunity to pack Miller Park,” Gagne said in a statement released by the team. “No matter what happens over these next four games, I want everyone to know that I think the world of Brewers fans. Three million times they have walked through the gates this year and none of us on the field takes their support for granted. We’re going to have some fun out here, and I know that the atmosphere will be electric.”

Beginning at 3:30 p.m., fans can go to Brewers.com to request up to four tickets. Click on the “Gagne Giveaway” graphic to go to the ticket request page and enter Gagne as the password when prompted.

Fans requesting the complimentary tickets will be subject to a one-time $2 fee for printing their ticket order at home, or a $4 per order fee for picking at Miller Park will call.

Tickets are first come, first served.

Hooray Gagne!

After 7+ seasons, Matt Millen has finally been fired as General Manager of the Detroit Lions!

During his tenure, the Lions were probably the most inept team in professional football.   Their record was 53 games below 500 and they had lost at least 9 games in each of the seasons.

This season the Lions started the season 0-3, they’ve given up 113 points and have lost the three games by an average of 18 points.

If someone like Matt Millen, the butt of a innumerable jokes about ineptitude, can be fired what hope is there for your average Weatherman?

Now that I reached the first goal of getting over .500 at 15-14-2 (I’ll ignore the 1-3 against the over/unders), it’s time to start actually making money.

Dallas (-3) @ Green Bay – Take this week for the week Aaron Rodgers goes out for the season. Unfortunately, there’s nobody that’s even semi-competent behind him.
Tampa Bay (+3) @ Chicago – The word of the day is “revenge”.
Carolina (+3.5) @ Minnesota – The Injury Discount is in full effect.
Detroit @ San Francisco (-5) – Can anybody tell me why this isn’t 15? Oh yeah; take the under-47; the Lions aren’t scoring.
Kansas City @ Atlanta (-6.5) – The irresistable force will run over the movable object.
Oakland @ Buffalo (-10) – It may not be snowing, but it’s not going to be fun for the Raiders.
Houston @ Tennessee (-5.5) – The Tennesseeans are glad they’re not in Houston anymore. The Texans only wish they weren’t.
Cincinnati @ NY Giants (-13) – Even though the BenGALs won’t score, take the over-42 as Jimmy Hoffa chants “Sieve!”
Arizona (+3) @ Washington – Give the dog a bone and send your man rolling home.
Miami @ New England (-13) – The Pats showed me something last week.
St. Louis (+10) @ Seattle – How bad is the Seahawks’ offense? Koren Fragging Robinson is back in the league.
New Orleans @ Denver (-6) – No blown calls required this week.
Pittsburgh (+3.5) @ Philadelphia – I like defenses.
Jacksonville (+4.5) @ Indianapolis – Before injuries, this would have been the Game of the Week.
Cleveland @ Baltimore (-3) – Neo is no more.
NY Jets (+8.5) @ San Diego – Given the nature of the Chargers’ losses, if I took them, I’d be giving too many points.

The Bar is no more, the Pub’s in flames after I took a day off, but let’s review the great week it was…

Green Bay 48 (-3) @ Detroit 25 – Had this been Turkey Day, this would’ve been a trap.
Indianapolis 18 (-2.5) @ Minnesota 15 – I might have to rethink my Viqueens as champs call; they’re looking more like the usual chumps.
Chicago 17 @ Carolina 20 (-3-TIE) – “Taketh the home team,” and loseth the vig.
Oakland 23 (+3.5) @ Kansas City 8 – Two picks and eight points is proof of the maxim.
Tennessee 24 @ Cincinnati 7 (pick’em) – More like jump off the bridge after this one; the BenGALS are done.
New Orleans 24 @ Washington 29 (+1) – All of a sudden, I can’t pick the over/unders.
NY Giants 41 (-8.5) @ St. Louis 13 – Baaaa, baaaa bwahahahahahaha!
Buffalo 20 (+4.5) @ Jacksonville 16 – You can’t win if you’re not healthy.
Atlanta 9 (+7) @ Tampa Bay 24 – Sometimes you’re the dog, sometimes you’re the milk bone.
San Francisco 33 (+7) @ Seattle 30 – Nice to see the overtime curse is broken.
Miami 10 @ Arizona 31 (-7) – Booked, and collected
New England 19 @ NY Jets 10 (-1) – And no streaks ended.
San Diego 38 @ Denver 39 (-1-TIE) – Why did you go for two, Mike? It screwed me out of my vig.
Pittsburgh 10 (-6-LOSS) @ Cleveland 6 – And the weather dominated.
Philadelphia 37 (+7-WIN) @ Dallas 41 – Lesson to the wise; do not celebrate on the one.

A nice 9-4-2 week pushes the season to 15-14-2. Unfortunately, the over/unders fell to 1-3.

Yes, it is now official. I believe it’s a few months late, but the drop to a tie with the Phillies, who just swept the Brewers out of the city of Brotherly Love, forced the upper management’s hand.

The bad news – it’s third base coach Dale “Run Them Out Of Big Innings” Sveum instead of ex-bench coach Ted Simmons that’s running things for the remainder of the season.

Last week sucked to the tune of 6-10 ATS and 1-1 O/U, and the hard drive on the desktop is dying. Let’s get this Texan-less week done quickly so you can get some dough.

Green Bay (-3) @ Detroit – Everything screams, “TRAP!” about this game except one thing; it’s not Turkey Day.
Indianapolis (-2.5) @ Minnesota – The rust comes off this week.
Chicago @ Carolina (-3) – Taketh the home team.
Oakland (+3.5) @ Kansas City – Two-headed quarterbacks do not work in the NFL.
Tennessee @ Cincinnati (pick’em) – You’ve got to be kidding me; a Kerry Collins-led team not a road dog? Jump on this one.
New Orleans @ Washington (+1) – I dislike teams with early injuries. Take the under-42.
NY Giants (-8.5) @ St. Louis – The Lambs lay down for everybody.
Buffalo (+4.5) @ Jacksonville – Again, injuries kill. Mental note; find a replacement for Mo-Jo.
Atlanta (+7) @ Tampa Bay – You may like the points, you may want the points, and any honest bookie will give you the points, BUT YOU’RE NOT GONNA NEED THEM! Hotlanta’s suddenly a big-play team, and the Bucs are a big-play-giving team. Take the over-37.5.
San Francisco (+7) @ Seattle – This is your Game of the Weak.
Miami @ Arizona (-7) – The Cards will have to overcome the Egg Appearance Curse, but since it’s the Dolphins, book it!
New England @ NY Jets (-1) – All streaks come to an end…except Brett Favre’s.
San Diego @ Denver (-1) – Injury Discount comes into play again.
Pittsburgh (-6) @ Cleveland – The dominance will continue unabated.
Philadelphia (+7) @ Dallas – Philly’s too stout for this kind of beatdown by the bookies.

Did I mention that the hardest week in the NFL season to predict is the first? Let’s go over the carnage.

Washington 7 @ NY Giants 16 (-4.5) – That’s how to start the season. Time to break out the old pre-Alvarez Badger chant – I WON FIRST!
Cincinnati 10 (-2) @ Baltimore 17 – Also not recommended; QBs with broken noses.
NY Jets 20 (-3) @ Miami 14 – Please welcome your division-leading New York Bretts.
Kansas City 10 @ New England 17 (-17-LOSS) – Welcome to Super Loser Curse, Brady.
Houston 17 (+6.5) @ Pittsburgh 38 – Ow; my knee! I’m sending the bill to Gary Kubiak for being stupid and having no defense.
Jacksonville 10 (-3) @ Tennesse 17 – Yep; it’s hurting a lot. At least Guido’s working over the same knees Knock-Knees Tony did for the playoffs.
Detroit 21 (-3) @ Atlanta 34 – How bad are Duh Lions? Fox announcers are already calling for heads to roll. At least I got the over right to salvage a split.
Seattle 10 (+1) @ Buffalo 34 – The Seahags looked like The Walrus retired a year early.
Tampa Bay 20 @ New Orleans 24 (-3.5) – It’s all about the turnovers creating emotion.
St. Louis 3 (+7.5) @ Philadelphia 38 – Mental note; see if the Eagles’ defense is still available in my fantasy leagues.
Dallas 28 (-6) @ Cleveland 10 – Wiggy and Owen are quite happy with this result.
Carolina 26 (+9) @ San Diego 24 – I had the right state for the barking dog, just the wrong town.
Arizona 23 @ San Francisco 13 (+2.5) – Turnovers kill.
Chicago 29 @ Indianapolis 13 (-10) – Yep; it was over at halftime. Only thing is, that Bears’ D still has bite.
Minnesota 19 (+2) @ Green Bay 24 – At least I told you to not take the Aaron Rodgers Won’t Make It Through Game 1 prop bet.
Denver 41 (-3) @ Oakland 14 – How bad was this week? I whiffed on the JaMarcus Russel INT total.

Owie-stingie. 6-10 ATS, 8-8 straight-up, 1-1 over/unders leave Guido hunting my sorry ass down. Worse, I owe Uncle Fred because dumbshit me took the donkey with a broken nose instead of the Ragin’ Cajun who pulled off the Upset of the Week™.

Friends, Degenerates, Countrymen – get out those wallets! The hardest week of the easiest money (or at least broken bones) you’ll ever earn is upon us. Since I managed to off Knock-Knees Tony after a disastrous post-season, I’m back for another season of fun and mayhem to defend my 123-120-13 regular-season record ATS and 20-13-1 performance on the over/unders. As always, the lines are provided by our friends at Bodog, the team I’m taking will have the line next to it, and I will disavow any knowledge of you should you use these picks (especially my 2-a-week over/unders).

Washington @ NY Giants (-4.5) – Jim Zorn has a better chance against the G-Men than Jason Campbell.
Cincinnati (-2) @ Baltimore – Rookie QBs are not recommended.
NY Jets (-3) @ Miami – Dare I say it? DARE I SAY IT? Not yet.
Kansas City @ New England (-17; currently off Bodog’s board) – Welcome to Mismatch Central. Don’t worry about the “injured” right foot on Brady.
Houston (+6.5) @ Pittsburgh – Let there be HITS! Take the under-43 to give The Man a feel for this game.
Jacksonville (-3) @ Tennesse – This won’t hurt a bit; it’s going to hurt a lot.
Detroit (-3) @ Atlanta – If you’re looking for defense, this isn’t the game for you. I know we have another rookie QB, but take the over-41 in the Mistake of the Week™.
Seattle (+1) @ Buffalo – It’s too early in the season for Holmgren to start losing.
Tampa Bay @ New Orleans (-3.5) – This early in the season, it’s all about the emotion.
St. Louis (+7.5) @ Philadelphia – The Rams are too healthy to be giving up this many points.
Dallas (-6) @ Cleveland – I’m trying so hard to avoid “Matrix” references.
Carolina (+9) @ San Diego – If I were convinced the Chargers’ Big 3 were 100%, I’d gladly give the points.
Arizona @ San Francisco (+2.5) – It’s a Dog Day Afternoon and Kurt Warner’s wearing Milk Bone underwear.
Chicago @ Indianapolis (-10) – It doesn’t matter whether it’s Orton or Grossman at QB; this one will be over by halftime.
Minnesota (+2) @ Green Bay – I know it’s real tempting to take the prop bet that Aaron Rodgers won’t finish this game. DON’T DO IT!
Denver (-3) @ Oakland – Over/under on the number of Bronco picks of Russell – 2.5. Take the over.

Asok opened up the season prediction pool over at The Wisconsin Sports Bar. Since I still have a key there, I’ll repost my no-study predictions for the season here:

NFC North
Minnesota (Good – Adrian Peterson is enough in this division. Bad – If an opposing team can figure out how to tackle AP, the Vikes are done. Record – 9-7)
Chicago (Good – They still have a special special team, and the aging defense should have a few stops left in them. Bad – That defense is aged, and the disappearance of Brett Favre from the division won’t mean they’ll go through fewer QBs than Green Bay. Record – 7-9)
Green Bay (Good – As long as injuries and tall physical receivers don’t hit the defense, they’ll be able to stop people. Bad – There will be 8 people crowding the offensive line almost every down, and the departure of Favre means they’ll be going through as many QBs as the Bears. Record – 5-11)
Detroit – (Good – I honestly can’t think of any. Bad – They’re still run by Matt Millen. Record – 3-13)

NFC East
Dallas
Philadelphia (wild card)
NY Giants (wild card)
Washington

NFC South
Carolina (by a tiebreaker)
New Orleans
Tampa Bay
Atlanta

NFC West
Seattle
Arizona
San Francisco
St. Louis

AFC North
Pittsburgh
Baltimore (wild card)
Cleveland
Cincinnati

AFC East
NY Jets
New England (wild card; do not overlook the Super Loser Curse)
Buffalo
Miami

AFC South
Jacksonville
Indianapolis
Tennessee
Houston

AFC West
San Diego
Denver
Oakland
Kansas City

Bonus nose pick – Jacksonville over Dallas in The Championship Game That Cannot Be Named.

Cross-posted at TheWisconsinSportsBar.

The NFL has confirmed an NFL Network report that it received a request from Brett Favre for reinstatement. Once Commissioner Roger Goodell approves the request, the Packers will have but 24 hours to reinstate him, complete a trade, or give him his outright release. Unless Goodell dwaddles, which I cannot discount, I expect that approval to happen tomorrow, with the reinstate/trade/release clock running out on Thursday.

The problem with the trade third is nobody outside the NFC North, where Ted Thompson desperately doesn’t want to see Favre end up, is willing to give up a third-rounder plus a defensive tackle for a diva whose current contract is for $12 million this year, $13 million next year and $14 million in 2010. This is despite reports of Goodell’s involvement in trade talks.

If the trade talks continue to sputter, I expect Thompson to “reinstate” Favre and promptly find a way to keep him off the active roster and out of training camp in order to preserve his lifelong dream of being the guy who retired Favre. That is likely to result in a grievance.

Barring the miracle trade, this one’s going to get even uglier.

Revisions/extensions (4:44 pm 7/30/2008) - The Green Bay Press-Gazette has a couple of more developments:

- Packers President/CEO Mark Murphy met with both Favre and agent James “Bus” Cook today, and during a short break, Cook said things “were going well”.
- The NFL announced that it would not take action on Favre’s reinstatement letter today to allow the team and Favre more time for the two sides to work out a solution.

(H/T – the head barkeep)

Per the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, the Milwaukee Brewers and pitcher Jeff Suppan will be announcing Monday that they, along with the USO, will give all active-duty military personnel and their families free admission to the rest of the home games. ‘Tis all good.

I haven’t checked my bracket since Davidson shot it full of lead on Friday, but this tournament has made history, as all the #1s have made it to the Final Four. Unfortunately for those of you who took Kansas or North Carolina to be the first #1 out, that game will be the nightcap on Saturday. Those of you who took Memphis or UCLA, or haven’t voted yet, you’re in luck.

Thanks to a choke job by Bruce Pearl, I finally lost my first Final Four team last night (I usually lose the first one on the way into the Sweet Sixteen). That really put a hit on my bracket, which now has more holes than horse-trader’s mule. The good news is, if Wisconsin beats them all, I’ll beat all the Morons. The not-so-good is I’ll still need help to beat the Bar.

Those of you who took North Carolina or UCLA to be the first #1 out, start praying that Kansas and Memphis don’t choke. If you didn’t vote, Kansas is scheduled to tip first tonight at 8:40 pm, followed by Memphis scheduled at 8:57 pm. Tomorrow, UCLA opens it up at 5:40 pm, followed by North Carolina at 8:05 pm. Word to the wise; if you think we’ll have an all-#1 Final Four, wait until we know which two teams go first. Of course, if we don’t, you’re out of luck.

Today was Cinderella Sunday, as not one, not two, but three Cinderellas won. Of course, the fact that two Cindys would win was guaranteed because there were two 12-v-13 matchups. Still, Davidson had its biggest game of its history in knocking off Georgetown. The bad news for them is they get Bucky on Friday, known around The Bar as the Terminators.

Despite there being three lower-bracket teams in the Sweet 16, we only had three “upsets” in the second round, and one of those can’t really be called an upset because it was a #5 knocking off a #4. It was a rough weekend for the #2s, as a pair of them got rejected and the other two got the stuffing scared out of them.

For those keeping track of conferences at home, the Big East and the Pac-10 each have 3 teams, the “down-year” Big Ten and the Big 12 each have 2 teams, and the “all-mighty” ACC, the “almost-all-mighty” SEC, the “used-to-be-mighty” Atlantic 10, the “stripped-bare” Conference USA, and the mid-major twins (Southern, Sun Belt) each have 1 team.

Incredibly, despite going only 21-11 in the first round and 10-6 in the second (including three games that were dead to the bracket), I’m set to do some serious damage in the later rounds as I’ve only lost two of my Elite Eight and my Final Four is still intact. I don’t remember a year when I could say that after the second round.