No Runny Eggs

The repository of one hard-boiled egg from the south suburbs of Milwaukee, Wisconsin (and the occassional guest-blogger). The ramblings within may or may not offend, shock and awe you, but they are what I (or my guest-bloggers) think.

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Ask Egg – Need more pseudophedrine edition

by @ 17:13 on September 1, 2010. Filed under Ask Egg.

If it’s allergy season, it’s time for another round of Ask Egg, where I answer letters that should have been written before the subjects acted.

Dear Egg,

A year into our stimulus, the only things that have been stimulated are government employees and opposition to our policies. We need a new slogan to get us through November, but Works Progress Administration was already taken by our hero. HELP!

-Gone Golfing


Dear Gone,

Socialism has failed every place it’s been tried. If you had studied history, you would know that. Slapping a shiny label on a piece of dung doesn’t change the fact that it’s dung, nor does it cover up the smell. Cut the spending, cut the taxes, and you’ll find the economy responds nicely.

-Egg

P.S. Take your entire “leadership” team golfing with you, and see you in January.

Dear Egg,

My daddy handed me this great job that is half a world away from my frigid “home” where all I had to do was follow the crowd. Up until this month, it looked like I was a lock to stay here in the hot swamp another 6 years, but something funny (like a deranged clown) happened on the way to an easy victory. I really don’t want to freeze again. What can you do?

-Frigid in the Frozen North


Dear Frigid,

Perhaps they tossed you out because you followed the wrong crowd. Take your lumps and learn from them. Do recall what happened to the last person in your line of work who decided to fully-adopt the crowd he was following.

-Egg

Do remember that this advice, like everything else on the blog, is free.

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