One of the definitions of victim at Dictionary.com is:
a person who is deceived or cheated, as by his or her own emotions or ignorance.
Everyday bad things happen to people. Most people take accountability for the involvement they had in causing said bad things, learn from it and move ahead with their life. A few people however, are unable to believe that their own actions ever result in bad things happening. They view all bad experiences as having been imposed on them by some other person without any accountability for their own actions. Additionally, this latter group, through their own actions, escalate situations that should have never been more than an inconvenience, into situations where they attempt to position themselves as victims rather than the person or persons who actually were the victim. This latter group of people are referred to as having a “victim mentality.”
Sometimes it is tough to tell the difference between true victims and those with a victim mentality. However, if you pay close attention you will find that those with a “victim mentality” have a consistent and predictable
The first recorded event of “victim mentality” was in the Bible, specifically Genesis 3. This is the chapter where Eve, having ignored the rule that God gave her, listened to the serpent and ate from the Tree of Life. When God questioned Eve about her eating from the tree she responded:
13 Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What have you done?”
The woman said, “The serpent tricked me. That’s why I ate the fruit.”
The second recorded event of “victim mentality” is also in the Bible. In the chapter following Eve’s victimhood, we read the story of Cain and Abel. Cain killed his brother Abel because he was jealous of the favorable response God had given Abel’s offering. The exchange between God and Cain about the murder is recorded as:
9 Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?”
“I don’t know,” he replied. “Am I supposed to look after my brother?”
In both of these examples the guilty party was caught by a wise observer (God) and they knew it. In both cases the guilty party was deceived by their own “emotions or ignorance” and their own resulting actions made them a victim. Finally, in both cases, the “victims” attempted to deflect responsibility by trying to move the focus off of themselves.
Over the weekend, after President Obama stupidly made his stupidity comment about the Cambridge police department, the police reports became public and other evidence of corroboration of Officer Crowley’s version of events became evident, Henry Gates realized he had been caught by wise observers and that he had been deceived by his own emotions. How do I know that Gates realized his mistake? I know it because Gates used the language of victim mentality.
Go back and reread the response from Eve and Cain. In both cases, when they were caught dead to rights they responded with the language of the victim mentality. In both cases, as Eve and Cain attempted to deflect the responsibility from themselves to someone or something else, they responded with a version of “it’s not about me!”
When Henry Gates was caught in his moment of excessive self importance he ultimately attempted to deflect the situation with:
“in the end, this is not about me at all.”
Not about me? As with Eve or Cain’s indiscretion, the situation with Gates wouldn’t even exist if it hadn’t been caused by his actions, of course this is about him! For him to suggest that is about “all black men” or anything else other than his own actions is self delusional.
While I’m on the topic of those with victim mentalities, let’s go back a week to President Obama’s national presser. As he began to see the lug nuts loosen on the delivery wagon of health care reform, Obama decided to attempt to persuade the nation that his view was the correct one. As he again attempted to deride Republicans (whose votes shouldn’t matter if he’d get his own party in line), he slipped this in:
He referred to Sen. Jim DeMint (R-S.C.), who had said that if Obama could be stymied on healthcare, “it will break him.”
“This isn’t about me,” the president said.
Wow, there are the magic words again!
Yes, Obama is an egotist. Yes, he’s an incredible narcissist. But, think about how often you’ve heard Obama deflecting responsibility for his own actions onto someone else. Does this ring a bell; “…I inherited from the previous administration.”
Yes, Obama carries a deep seated victim mentality. How do I know? Just listen for him to use the language of victim mentality.