No Runny Eggs

The repository of one hard-boiled egg from the south suburbs of Milwaukee, Wisconsin (and the occassional guest-blogger). The ramblings within may or may not offend, shock and awe you, but they are what I (or my guest-bloggers) think.

Press Conference Recap

by @ 20:10 on March 24, 2009. Filed under Politics - National.

If you weren’t able to catch President Obama’s press conference tonight or if you’d purposely avoided it so that your head wouldn’t explode, I’ve got a recap of the Q&A period.  I’m not saying that what I’ve laid out is a verbatim recitation of what was said but, it will give you the gist of both the question and answer…at least as I interpreted Obama answering it.

Q – Regarding the request for new ability to takeover financial institutions? 


A – Financial institutions = bad

      Government knows better than public


Bottom line:

More government control is always the right answer



Q – Why haven’t you asked the public to sacrifice more?


A – Workers unite!

       If the government spends more we’ll all be better

       Financial institutions = bad


Bottom line:

You’ll sacrifice a whole lot more, just give me time and pass my budget!



Q – Will you sign a budget that does not have a middle class tax cut or cap and trade?


A – We need to spend a lot more

      We need to raise the cost of energy dramatically

      We need government control of health care


Bottom line:

Don’t worry you’re sweet head.  My ego will carry this through.



Q – Aren’t you passing on problems by dramatically increasing debt?


A – I inherited this from Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuush!

      Growth only comes from government spending

      The CBO can’t do math


Bottom line:

You’re damn lucky I’m here.  This would really be a mess if Buuuuuuuuuuuush were still here!



Q – Why does you budget deficit go up dramatically in 6 of the next 8 years?


A – Did I call this a budget?  This is really a guideline!

      I can’t take over the entire economy in the first 2 months



Bottom line:

Quit asking me questions that I can’t answer!



Q – Do you consider the violence in Mexico a national security threat?


A – We’ll throw more money at the problem

      The problem is that we don’t have gun laws

      I’ll fix this next week over a tequila


Bottom line:

Don’t ask questions that could screw up my Mexican vacation



Q – Are you cutting defense spending?


A – I inherited this problem from Buuuuuuuuuuush!

      Second only to the financial industry, military contractors = bad

      Did I say we were withdrawing from Iraq?


Bottom Line:

I’m a Leftist.  Of course I’m cutting defense!



Q – How come you didn’t come public on what you knew of AIG?


A – I like to know what I’m talking about before I speak


Bottom Line:

This would be the first and last time that will happen



Q – Are you concerned about the rising debt?


A – I’ve only been here 60 days!

      We need government to control health care


Bottom Line:

Quit asking tough questions a second time



Q – How comfortable are you with foreign governments saying you’re spending too much?


A – China calling me Socialist….that’s rich!

      Europe calling me Socialist…..that’s rich!

      I’ll wow them at the G20!


Bottom line:

I’m planning another world tour.  They’ll love me again after that!



Q – Are you reconsidering the mortgage and charity deduction cut?


A – No

      Financial institutions, military contractors and rich people = bad

      Charities will have to suck it up


Bottom line:

Hey, Joe and I don’t give to charities so this doesn’t impact us!



Q – Do you have a message for homeless children?


A – Just look at the jobs we’ve saved!

       The States aren’t doing their jobs!

       Obviously, we haven’t spent enough!


Bottom line:

If they had been aborted they wouldn’t be homeless



Q – Did you wrestle with your change on stem cell research?


A – I’m a deep, deep thinker

      I said to myself, self and got no reply

      It’s no harder a decision than abortion


Bottom line:

I’m the most pro infanticide President ever….stupid question.  Next!



Q – Can you bring peace to the Middle East with a Neocon leading Israel?


A – Israel needs to give in

      If George Mitchell stays awake long enough, he’ll make a trip there.

      The Middle East is no different than the situation in Ireland


Bottom line:

We’re sending them an “Easy button” next week.

The URI to TrackBack this entry is:

4 Responses to “Press Conference Recap”

Leave a Reply

[No Runny Eggs is proudly powered by WordPress.]