If you weren’t able to catch President Obama’s press conference tonight or if you’d purposely avoided it so that your head wouldn’t explode, I’ve got a recap of the Q&A period. I’m not saying that what I’ve laid out is a verbatim recitation of what was said but, it will give you the gist of both the question and answer…at least as I interpreted Obama answering it.
Q – Regarding the request for new ability to takeover financial institutions?
A – Financial institutions = bad
Government knows better than public
More government control is always the right answer
Q – Why haven’t you asked the public to sacrifice more?
A – Workers unite!
If the government spends more we’ll all be better
Financial institutions = bad
You’ll sacrifice a whole lot more, just give me time and pass my budget!
Q – Will you sign a budget that does not have a middle class tax cut or cap and trade?
A – We need to spend a lot more
We need to raise the cost of energy dramatically
We need government control of health care
Don’t worry you’re sweet head. My ego will carry this through.
Q – Aren’t you passing on problems by dramatically increasing debt?
A – I inherited this from Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuush!
Growth only comes from government spending
The CBO can’t do math
You’re damn lucky I’m here. This would really be a mess if Buuuuuuuuuuuush were still here!
Q – Why does you budget deficit go up dramatically in 6 of the next 8 years?
A – Did I call this a budget? This is really a guideline!
I can’t take over the entire economy in the first 2 months
Quit asking me questions that I can’t answer!
Q – Do you consider the violence in Mexico a national security threat?
A – We’ll throw more money at the problem
The problem is that we don’t have gun laws
I’ll fix this next week over a tequila
Don’t ask questions that could screw up my Mexican vacation
Q – Are you cutting defense spending?
A – I inherited this problem from Buuuuuuuuuuush!
Second only to the financial industry, military contractors = bad
Did I say we were withdrawing from Iraq?
I’m a Leftist. Of course I’m cutting defense!
Q – How come you didn’t come public on what you knew of AIG?
A – I like to know what I’m talking about before I speak
This would be the first and last time that will happen
Q – Are you concerned about the rising debt?
A – I’ve only been here 60 days!
We need government to control health care
Quit asking tough questions a second time
Q – How comfortable are you with foreign governments saying you’re spending too much?
A – China calling me Socialist….that’s rich!
Europe calling me Socialist…..that’s rich!
I’ll wow them at the G20!
I’m planning another world tour. They’ll love me again after that!
Q – Are you reconsidering the mortgage and charity deduction cut?
A – No
Financial institutions, military contractors and rich people = bad
Charities will have to suck it up
Hey, Joe and I don’t give to charities so this doesn’t impact us!
Q – Do you have a message for homeless children?
A – Just look at the jobs we’ve saved!
The States aren’t doing their jobs!
Obviously, we haven’t spent enough!
If they had been aborted they wouldn’t be homeless
Q – Did you wrestle with your change on stem cell research?
A – I’m a deep, deep thinker
I said to myself, self and got no reply
It’s no harder a decision than abortion
I’m the most pro infanticide President ever….stupid question. Next!
Q – Can you bring peace to the Middle East with a Neocon leading Israel?
A – Israel needs to give in
If George Mitchell stays awake long enough, he’ll make a trip there.
The Middle East is no different than the situation in Ireland
We’re sending them an “Easy button” next week.