Friends, Degenerates, Countrymen - get out those wallets! The hardest week of the easiest money (or at least broken bones) you’ll ever earn is upon us. Since I managed to off Knock-Knees Tony after a disastrous post-season, I’m back for another season of fun and mayhem to defend my 123-120-13 regular-season record ATS and 20-13-1 performance on the over/unders. As always, the lines are provided by our friends at Bodog, the team I’m taking will have the line next to it, and I will disavow any knowledge of you should you use these picks (especially my 2-a-week over/unders).
Washington @ NY Giants (-4.5) - Jim Zorn has a better chance against the G-Men than Jason Campbell.
Cincinnati (-2) @ Baltimore - Rookie QBs are not recommended.
NY Jets (-3) @ Miami - Dare I say it? DARE I SAY IT? Not yet.
Kansas City @ New England (-17; currently off Bodog’s board) - Welcome to Mismatch Central. Don’t worry about the “injured” right foot on Brady.
Houston (+6.5) @ Pittsburgh - Let there be HITS! Take the under-43 to give The Man a feel for this game.
Jacksonville (-3) @ Tennesse - This won’t hurt a bit; it’s going to hurt a lot.
Detroit (-3) @ Atlanta - If you’re looking for defense, this isn’t the game for you. I know we have another rookie QB, but take the over-41 in the Mistake of the Week™.
Seattle (+1) @ Buffalo - It’s too early in the season for Holmgren to start losing.
Tampa Bay @ New Orleans (-3.5) - This early in the season, it’s all about the emotion.
St. Louis (+7.5) @ Philadelphia - The Rams are too healthy to be giving up this many points.
Dallas (-6) @ Cleveland - I’m trying so hard to avoid “Matrix” references.
Carolina (+9) @ San Diego - If I were convinced the Chargers’ Big 3 were 100%, I’d gladly give the points.
Arizona @ San Francisco (+2.5) - It’s a Dog Day Afternoon and Kurt Warner’s wearing Milk Bone underwear.
Chicago @ Indianapolis (-10) - It doesn’t matter whether it’s Orton or Grossman at QB; this one will be over by halftime.
Minnesota (+2) @ Green Bay - I know it’s real tempting to take the prop bet that Aaron Rodgers won’t finish this game. DON’T DO IT!
Denver (-3) @ Oakland - Over/under on the number of Bronco picks of Russell - 2.5. Take the over.
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