No Runny Eggs

The repository of one hard-boiled egg from the south suburbs of Milwaukee, Wisconsin (and the occassional guest-blogger). The ramblings within may or may not offend, shock and awe you, but they are what I (or my guest-bloggers) think.

Archive for April 23rd, 2008

Ask Egg, Vol. 3

by @ 17:57. Filed under Ask Egg.

It’s been far too long since I opened up the question lines. Since the brain is sufficiently-fried from the springtime allergies, I guess it’s time to break out the can of whoop-advice (you thought I was going to say something else, didn’t you?) and lay the snarkastic smackdown on some candy-asses (you knew it would come sooner or later).

Letter #1 –

Dear Egg,

After successfully destroying my party, I’m starting to look for a second. Any suggestions?

-Southwest Mav

Dear Southwest,

I don’t believe for a second you’re going to listen to this, but since you asked (mostly for money that isn’t leaving my bank account), I’ll answer. I have but three words – conservative, conservative, conservative. You may not salvage your burnt and collapsed bridges with a bunch of conservatives, but if you’re serious about killing earmarks, if you’re serious about securing the tax cuts, you’re going to need conservatives in Congress. Going further left for the VP choice is just a recipe for disaster on so many levels.

You may be tempted to go with the minority block that gets shunned by the far side of the aisle. I’ll shock you and most of my readers with this bit of advice, but as long as it doesn’t violate the three-word credo I outlined, do it. Do remember, however, that we don’t know which block will get shunned.

One more thing; dump Juan.
-Egg

Letter #2 –

Dear Egg,

Despite spending more than $2,200 for every man, woman and child in my city, and despite a budget of over $1.2 billion, I just can’t seem to scrape up enough cash to run my emergency services. I’m thinking about converting a soon-to-expire tax for my own purposes, and radically increasing both the amount and scope. Should I?

– Missing in Milwaukee

Dear Missing,

Allow me to quote Michelle Malkin here: “Suck.It.Up.” You mean to tell me there isn’t even 0.65% fat in that bloated government you run? Give me that budget and a red pen, and I’ll find you millions. I might not make the unions happy, but as you lefties are fond of saying, the needs of the many and all.

Start cutting.
-Egg

Letter #3 –

Dear Egg,

Oh man, I’m in so much trouble. Two months ago, I was the anointed one, able to do no wrong. Since then, I’ve stepped in a punji pit, shoved one foot in my mouth, and the other in my wife’s because her feet aren’t big enough to keep her quiet. The ghosts of my recent past are crashing in around me, and my Jedi mind tricks are starting to fail. It’s gotten so bad, the class enemy of my enemy endorsed my enemy.

-Critical in Chi-town

Dear Critical,

I’ll have to ignore the fact that, before the Maha-Rushie endorsed her, I did. It’s always darkest before the dawn (or is that before it goes pitch-black?). You two are generating record profits for the popcorn concessions, and the only way she’ll get what you want before the middle of summer is if you quit, so keep on keeping on.

Fight on!
-Egg

Letter #4 –

Dear Egg,

Talk about your law of unintended consequences. I’ve managed to finally put my stamp on this team by getting the old man to retire, and I suddenly realized I don’t have a quarterback that will last more than 3 games. I can’t swallow my pride and ask him back. What do I do?

-Super-Genius in Green Bay

Dear Super-Genius,

If you had planned and prepared properly instead of scheming to get rid of the old man, you would have prevented the likelyhood of piss-poor performance. You’re pretty much screwed because the proper planning and preparation would have included getting a top-flight QB draftee last year instead of a broken-down bust of a defensive tackle, and the team did too well this year to get a top-flight draftee. Worse, because you were too slow in the free-agent market, the slim pickings in the free-agent market are down to almost none.

Start praying.
-Egg

The Morning Scramble – 4/23/2008

by @ 9:55. Filed under The Morning Scramble.

There’s just one song to play after the combo Operation Chaos/NRE Spring Hill Campaign picked up an 8.6% win (wish I had a better-quality video, however)…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4vZFGKrNIo[/youtube]

– Before we start in earnest, I have a PSA from Michelle Malkin and S. Weasel – Go, buy a book from Mark Steyn today. The proceeds from the stuff that gets ordered today will be going to defend some good Canadian conservative sites against an attempt to use the power of gubmint to shut them down.
Mary Katharine Ham relays the spin, the whole spin, and some commentary on the spin.
PJ-Comix melts down the DUmmies. Well, when doesn’t he, but this one comes after he told them they were delusional.
Jeff Wagner diagnoses Cheney Derangement Syndrome at West Allis Central High School.
Tom McMahon explains why “they’re” angry.
Jim Lynch remembers the first Earth Day. I wonder if that car his school buried is still salvageable. Oh, and he could use your hits; he’s looking to top 100k before his blogiversary May 24.
Fred Keller wonders if the Academy will want their Oscar back from Algore Goracle after the revelation most of his footage was faked.
– The Goracle was simply following the lead of the Gorebal Warming “scientists”; Dad29 notes they didn’t do a proper peer-review process, rather going to those that would simply rubber-stamp their attempts to crush capitalism.
– Speaking of the Gorebal “Warming” science, Brian notes all four agencies in America that track the world’s temperature recorded the fastest year-over-year temperature drop in recorded history.
Mondoreb remembers history and says that the selection of Vladimir Lenin’s birthday as Earth Day was no accident.
Drach makes the case for me to relocate to Oklahoma; law enforcement willing to hold onto illegals until they’re deported.
Chef Mojo wants to add to his arsenal with that welfare economic stimulus check. Buying American firearms is about the only way that it isn’t simply welfare (though it still is welfare).
Dad29 returns to the DUmmies to answer why they keep on losing. PJ would award the DUmmie quoted a Kewpie Doll for having a moment of clarity on guns.
Lance Burri asks, “Is it fair?” No, the tax structure in Wisconsin is anything but fair, especially when the top 0.1% (no, not 1%) in income pay more in state income taxes than the bottom 50%.
Wyatt Earp has the catch of the day. No, I’m not talking sports, and no, there’s no video, but a postal worker caught a 1-year-old girl who fell out of a second-story window.

Enjoy the rest of hump day.

Sgt. Hulka’s political Wisdom

by @ 7:00. Filed under Immigration.

As I watched the Democratic debate last week, I found it odd that the segments began with a  reading of a part of the US Constitution.   Sometimes the follow up questions would vaguely  align with the subject of the reading but several times it was just the constitutional reading and then the debate would restart with  no context of the reading.   I didn’t understand what ABC was doing at the time but I think I’ve now figured it out.

The TV networks have been fighting with lowered audiences for the past several years.    This has been especially true with anything that is news related.   The debate last week had the highest ratings of any debate to date.   I think ABC was trying to kill 2 birds with one stone.   The were trying to get ad  revenue  based on the large audience AND they were getting in some of their required public service announcements.   What better way to get your PSA requirement in than by teaching Liberals about the constitution!

I’m sorry to say that while ABC’s plan was novel and laudatory, it  apparently failed.

During a debate on whether to  have the State of Colorado aid “immigrant” workers in getting a federal work visa, the following exchange took place on the General Assembly Floor:


(more…)

[No Runny Eggs is proudly powered by WordPress.]