With Charlie taking the day off to celebrate the release of 50 Rules Kids Won’t Learn in School, and a bunch of crap floating around (both figuratively and literally), I just couldn’t let another week go by without some noting of it. I have a voice for blogging, so you won’t have the multimedia presentation that the Blogfather usually does every Friday right after the 11:35 traffic, but let’s roll with it anyway. It’s time for the weekly Deep Tunnel Awards, handed out every week Charlie’s on the air Friday plus this week to the person, politician or institution who, like MMSD’s somewhat-almost-not-quite-deep-enough tunnel, was the most full of it.
Third runner-up this week – The Chicago Tribune and various pantywaist envirowhackos, who are about to derail an expansion of BP’s refinery in northern Indiana over a miniscule increase in the amount of crap they would be allowed to dump into Lake Michigan, up to 5,000 pounds per day from 3,500 pounds per day. BP has now promised to not increase their dumpings, even if it means they won’t expand production. Because that BP facility is one of only two that produces our very special blend of Algore/Whitman Memorial RFG, I hope the envirowhackos choke on $5/gallon gas (after I move out of here, that is) while braying the $2/gallon increase for a lake that is 0.000014% cleaner is worth it. Oh, and remember that number; I’ll get back to it.
Second runner-up this week – Michael Vick, who is set to plead guilty to a charge stemming from dogfights he and others participated in. May you try to escape and get an up-close-and-personal visit from a police German Shepherd.
First runner-up this week, in second place – The idiot who rammed Milwaukee County Deputy Kevin Johnson’s squad car as Johnson was cleaning up an accident scene on US-45. Kevin’s younger brother, Tim, was nearly killed doing the same thing back in January. Thankfully, Kevin was still in his squad car and escaped injury. Message to motorists – if you see flashing lights, don’t aim for them.
But the winner this week – Chicago’s Metropolitan Water Reclamation District, which, instead of sending its 243,000 pounds of crap daily down to the Mississippi like it usually does, is sending something north of that into Lake Michigan. Meanwhile, MMSD claims it can dump an average of 11,000 pounds of crap a day. And yet the envirowhackos continue to ignore that and bitch about an additional 1,500 pounds in exchange for something that’s absolutely needed, and about someone who takes a whiz over the side of a fishing boat.
What a load of crappy-crap-crap.