1773 British Parliament passes Tea Act, sets in motion the events that created the best country in the history of the world.
1805 U.S. Marines attack shores of Tripoli, begins whacking away at Islamofascism.
1861 President Abe Lincoln suspends writ of habeas corpus, Democrats blame Bush.
1937 U.S. Social Security system makes its 1st benefit payment, US given 100 years left to live.
1973 Chris Schneider is born, sock puppets flee in terror (just kidding).
Happy birthday, Chris.