No Runny Eggs

The repository of one hard-boiled egg from the south suburbs of Milwaukee, Wisconsin (and the occassional guest-blogger). The ramblings within may or may not offend, shock and awe you, but they are what I (or my guest-bloggers) think.

The last NSA intercept

by @ 6:37 on August 18, 2006. Filed under Politics - National, War on Terror.

The following is a NSA intercept, in progress as word got to the agency that a Carterista lawgiver/warlord-in-black decided that such intercepts were no longer necessary only a few days after such intercepts were instrumental in stopping the planned bombing of a bunch of UK-to-US airliners. It was handed to me already translated from the original Arabic:

UAMV #1 – Unidentified Arabic Male Voice #1, originating somewhere in South Asia
UAMV #2 – Unidentified Arabic Male Voice #2, originating somewhere in the United States

UAMV #1 – Hello, al-Zawahiri residence, Ayman speaking
UAMV #2 – It’s so good to hear your voice again, dear leader. I have good news to…
UAMV #1 – Achmed von Muhammad, how many times did I tell you to not call me at home? Don’t you know that the American NSA is trying to find you operatives and me?
UAMV #2 – But that’s just the thing. There’s this Carter-appointed lawgiver-in-black, Allah praise the Peanut Farmer, that just stopped the NSA from trying to find us. Thanks to the indidel wench Anna Diggs Taylor, they can’t trace any more phone calls that have an American component without a FISA warrant, and with our allies on the FISA court blocking the attempts at warrants that actually target us, we’re in the clear.
UAMV #1 – Allah be praised. May he give me Taylor as one of my virgins in Paradise. She probably can’t handle the action, but there will be 71 more for me to break in. We’ll have to start routing all our communications through the Great Satan. The infidel Karl Marx was right; the West will give us all the tools we need to destroy them.
UAMV #2 – May Allah clone Taylor so all my 72 virgins are her after I do my part in Operation Final Jihad. Now, let’s get down to business. Most of our preparations for Operation Final Jihad are ready. Did you want to review the methods, targets, and precise timing one more time?
UAMV #1 – Certainly, now that the American pigs can’t trace…
(Transcript ends abruptly as the team monitoring this call get the word they can’t continue)

NSA Technician – What the hell? We were just about to get the goods on stopping a major attack on us
NSA Lawyer – I know, but you heard the judge. We can’t do this anymore. Make sure you erase the tape as well, because we can’t use anything from it thanks to the lack of a warrant.
NSA Technician – Damn it.

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